IT GETS NO BETTER

I Thought It would be better after while. I really wanted to make these things work. What the hell do i do to deserve the shit that i have to take. If its not one thing its anohter and thats with everything: relationships, school, family. Nothing ever gets better. I never knew a person could be so stressed. I guess thats how it goes though. You know, the way life goes. You think something is right but it is the complete opposite. Damn..... but why does it hurt so bad. Man i never thought i would feel like this. There is so much more to discuss but i can't. The main lesson is that love hurts. I just can't let her go. WHY? How can i be with somebody that can't even talk to me but can talk to my bestfriend. But then again love still hurts. There is just nothing i can do to make things better so i have to stop trying. Love you Sasha!!! I hope things get better

LIFE IS LOOKING UP

I'm doing really right now. I have been having some trouble in my relationship but everything is settled now. I stayed on campus this weekend and got a lot of work done. It was tough but i did it. Hopefully i'm doing good in MOST of my classes because i know biology isn't looking too well but i'm planning on bringing that up. I'm sure that my University life grade is pretty good. I really liked that class, but it is over now and i'm working on my exam. So I'm hoping everything is goes like I want it too.

FALL BREAK

I had an ok fall break. I went back home and worked a bit. I also got to see my love Sasha that made me really happy. I picked her up from school twice and if was fun lol. I know it couldn't be that much fun with us sitting in the car but it actually was. We just talked about our day and other things that has been happening. She talked about how a lot of girls at her school don't like me and of course i can see why lol. Me and sasha went to the mall just to check some things out and that was fun too. We picked out something that we would buy for eachother and i ended up getting my gift early. All i wanted was a new rainbow bracelett and she got it for me on the spot. I was happy to be back with Sasha. She really was the highlight of my fall break. But yesterday i was able to drive my car back to school. That was really exciting! I made pretty good time too lol. But now that i have my car here with me i can look for a job. I need one fast because i want shoes and clothes.

THE END IS NEAR AND I'M ADJUSTING WELL

I'm adjusting well to the college life. I'm a bit nervous about mid-terms but I think all the nerves will be gone soon. The only class i know i need to work on is biology. Besides that i think i'm doing good.
I'm beginning to balance school and my personal life well. I feel like me and Sasha are slowly coming to an end. Not that I want that but maybe it is best for her. I don't want to send her on an emotional rollercoaster. I love her dearly but i think there is somebody better for her. I can tell that she wants somebody that can cater to her every need and i can't do that. Maybe we will get back together in the future but right now we need space. But that's all for now I have some homework to do.

STRESSFUL WEEK PLUS A NEW MEANING

Today was the end of a stressful week. Today I had a paper due at 9:45AM and I didn't wake up until 9:15. The thing that made me mad was the fact that I set 2 alarms to make sure I woke up ontime. I still had so much to do. I had to get dressed and go all the way to the library to print out the paper and I had to get to my professors office. I was on a major time crunch and I was so scared that I wasn't going to make it. But I made it just in time. I told my professer the story and she just laughed. Now that I think about it the situation is funny now. But that was the highlight of my school day.

Tonight my room mate Brittany is taking me to a club. It should be fun. The only club I have been to has been a gay club. But it is deeper than just going out to the club to me. All through middle school and high school I knew I was not very interested in males. I don't believe that I chose this lifestyle it just kind of happened. I was scared of accepting this myself because i know that being this way is frowned upon. I hear the same things everyday "that is not the right way to live." or things like "God didn't intend women to be with women" but as far as i know everybody is a sinner and the only person that can judge me is the big guy above. So when I decided that I was going to come to college. I told myself that I was not going to lie about the fact that I am gay. I know it makes some people uncomfortable but I am who I am. If i can't be true to myself than who will be true to me.

MY FRIENDS AT SCHOOL

It has been crazy since the last time I have wrote. My friend told me about her room mate. I was so happy that i didn't get her room mate. Her room mate ate all of her food and even stole money from her. That is so rude. I believe that I would have been kicked out of school if my room mate did that to me. It is one thing to steal food but steal money that is just wrong. My friend took it well though. Violence is never the answer my temper would have got the best of me though. She is strong I wish I could be like that. I'm so glad I have a positive friend like that. I also have another friend named Tasha. She is the greatest. She helps me study and just keeps me company when I need it. I believe she has influenced me the most out of my friends in college. She works so hard and she is so determined. Meeting her has made my transition from home to college a lot easier.





I wrote this blog because I am so happy about meeting these people. Without them school would have sucked really bad lol!. I just wanted to dedicate a blog to them. They really deserve it.

Tasha and Sharita

*BFF*

A REAL COLLEGE STUDENT

Everything is getting better with my mom and my girlfriend. I have talked to both of them about the issues I am having. But school is getting busy everyday that passes by. I have had three papers due this week so I have been beyond busy. Trying to fit everything into your schedule is harder than you think. I try to have a big social life but trying to balance all that out with school is hard lol. But college is really sinking in I'm getting a bit better at listening in class :-) but i could do better. But not much has happened. I'm planning on going to see my first school play tomorrow so I hope that it is worth watching. I'll write about it when I write tomorrow.